Running Games: The Angry Run

We've all had them; no one is immune--the days when you just want to shout: "CUSS THE WORLD, I FEEL LIKE CRYING!!!" Such a day was Monday for me, and what better way to respond to a day of irritation and indignation than with an Angry Run!

Perhaps, like me your toilet overflowed while you were trying to pack, or your unreasonable boss unloaded mounds of work upon you, or maybe you simply fell into a "sneaky hate spiral"  So for the days you feel like this:

I propose the "Angry Run"

First ingredient: Playlist.  My angsty teens have left me a robust collection of whiney, tempestuous music.  Remember the music genre "emo"--boy do I, and those shouting teen boys make the best unhappy, pouting music ever!  From my archives I chose Relient K's mmHmm 

 See how sad the flower looks and cloudy and gray it is?  It features such frustration releasing ballads as "Be My Escape"  

If you're not into angsty teen music, go for whatever music you would want to stomp around the house in and break cuss to.

Second Ingredient: Your worst jogging outfit.  This is a must.  You need to show the world, namely your neighbors and other runners, that this is no ordinary, running to be fit and healthy run--No, this is a funeral procession, a mourning journey, an Angry Run!

My ensemble: gray sweat pants from high school and thrift store find non-matching gray zip-up hoodie.  This ensemble personify the storm clouds of my day.  

Third Ingredient: Well, I guess anger really was the first ingredient, and the play list and worst outfit make up three, so now we're able to get cooking.

Once you've selected your playlist donned the burial shrouds of jogging attire, you are ready to embark on the Angry Run.  Ways to really enhance the flavor of the marathon-o-hate, if for these tasks to become stupidly impossible: 

My fingers are 5 times the size of my ipod 

For example, My ipod really wanted to shuffle my album when I wanted to listen to it straight through. Thus, I had to wrestle with the itsy, bitsy nano to conform to my will whilst running.  Also my hood kept getting tossed onto my right shoulder which made me feel unbalanced and personally scathed by wind and physics.

Some experienced, well-planning, and serious running individuals conduct "tempo runs" where you vary your speed based on distance as a way to train to be faster.  I disregard this and instead use angry runs to run faster than normal and burst into sprints, depending solely on the song I'm listening to and how cranky I feel.  

Don't out-do yourself too much though, because you don't want to become so winded you're unable to sing along to the song only you can hear at the top of your lungs while running down the sidewalk.  The confused and bewildered gazes of passer-byers will only affirm that the run is working.

Punching the air, jumping up and down, sporadic kicks, ninja chops, and lots of spitting all coalesce into a symphony of searing scorn.  Beating the pavement with every step emits livid lightening bolts, each as it streaks takes with it a tiny bit of the hate spiral.

Like a hurricane accosting the shore until every ounce of rain is spent, the Angry Run allows you to sweat and cuss and dash the the cranky away.

This my friends, is scientific.  Check out this awesome TED talk about running and life:

So next time you feel like this:

Do  some of this: