I know I've been away...

But I have a handful of awesome excuses, like:

1) Cambodia's internet is not the most reliable,
2)Expedia f-ing me over in the airports on my return flight so my free time that would have been dedicated to writing more was wasted on wrestling Expedia
3) I got married.

I definitely plan on continuing this blog. I still have so much to process from Cambodia, stories to write and ideologies to wrestle with. At the moment, my response to "How was Cambodia?" is just "It was a learning experience."

At points, for to frequent, the loneliness was crippling. Small windows in the stretch of seven weeks opened up to real conversations and actual glimpses into the lives of those students who were with me. Unfortunately, only a few and sometimes only with the addition of alcohol did some allow for authenticity to flow.

I don't regret the trip, though the timing may have been off. But a few perspectives I have gained:

My faith community, my friends, and I are a bit far from the average Western culture. We're honest, vulnerable, and a hell of a lot more transparent than how the rest of our society functions. Justin has a favorite song entitled, "High School Never Ends" This trip made that point painfully clear as I failed to relate to the majority of other American college students. I appreciate my church and friends so much more because of it.

Forget easy answers and its going to take a much greater power than myself to save the world. Before Cambodia I had the romantic notions of finding my niche and way to save the world via teaching English, working for an NGO or starting one, creating literacies for people, or diving headfirst into a culture to reach the same level of intimacy I share in my own. You read how teaching English turned out. Working for an NGO and being a full time linguist suffered similar demises, but thats for another entry. Now I haven't a clue what I want to do or in what capacity I may be used to save the world. I am all the more convinced, however, that Christ promised He'd be with when He sent out the disciples because He knew, as I discovered, we can't do it in our own power.

"Those who believe Jesus, zay do not sink" This utterance from a very sweet French student reveals all the more that the quite a bit more than slightly negative opinion of Christians is prevalent through out the Western world. As globalization leads to westernization, this opinion grows with it.

The feeling in Cambodia, for me fell somewhere between hopeful and stagnate. There is so much hope for a better government, better health care and schools, better everything. Yet this persistent stagnation of no easy way to shift the current forces that be: the self-serving government, the rampant corruption, the poverty, the cyclic system of NGOs, the dependency on the outside world... It's kinda like Obama's campaigning, it's time for change for sure, but can ideological optimism and an earnest minority really defeat the Goliath mechanisms that drive our nation? Can it release Cambodia? Again, to be dealt with in a later blog. But abstract ideals verses the deeply-ingrained realities of society like prejudice, greed, and self-serving disposition. Cambodia reinforced my lack of confidence in human beings ability to save themselves. Do not see this as pessimistic, though, it inspires me to fight all the more.

I got married and that was awesome. And that my friends is what we call an "understatement."

Pictures- Many more pictures have been posted to my Picasa site. I know some people had trouble viewing them. Just shoot me an email and I'll figure it out.

Also I plan on posting my term paper I wrote for my history course. as well as some other little ditties I've written here and there.

So stay tuned and in the meanwhile, check out my pictures.