Haven't Done This For Awhile

Dear Friends,

I am attempting to resurrect my blog for the purpose of staying in touch. Though, my course load is rather intense and my track record reveals, I ought not make any promises. So, if I haven't updated and you miss me, text, call or email. Hopefully though this will serve as a minor substitute to let you know what my North Dakotan life is like.

With Love,
Jen

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The Highlights thus far:

Traveling Mercies:

• My check in attendant reduced my 4 flights to 2, so Justin and I had 2 hours to spend at the airport together.
• Though the initial plan for my flight from Minneapolis to Grand Forks had tech difficulty and couldn't fly, we were able to switch to another plane. Moreover, I had a fellow SIL-er on my flight who contacted our pick-up to let them know we were delayed
• Had a good conversation with a UND prof on my flight.
• Had time to remember why I came: I'm passionate about descriptive linguistics of sign languages and want to learn the practical applications of my passion

Cross-cultural, indeed:

• During orientation the director addressed to common assumptions that lead to disappointment and "culture shock": 1) Because SIL is Part of Wycliffe want-to-be-missionaries assume everyone is conservative evangelical Christian, and 2) Linguistic students come assuming to find an atmosphere as diverse religiously and ideologically as state universities....neither are true.
• Turns out, however, the more people I talk to I so far consist of the "not conservative evangelical Christian" minority.
• Though I love Jesus and desire to live a life centered on Him, I have a tattoo, a bit of a potty mouth, do not currently and regularly watch veggie tales, and am in no way chomping at the bit to join Wycliffe and be a bible-translating missionary.
• Also, I'm just avoiding at the moment such topics that rhyme with: schmobama, schmealthcare, schmexuality and schmo on.
  
• I am not isolated, and am approachable enough that my alternative ways are nearly palatable to those around me. Heck, I've even made a friend or two. One woman, Jessica, loves running and is having just as miserable of a time finding something edible at the cafeteria as myself for all the same reasons!

Identity crisis:

• So being around one primary group of Christians, kinda makes me question how Christian I am. At Hot Metal it's easy to think "Christians" care first of social justice, desire sustainable food and waste practices, don't care about the outside and accept as is. I, as many others, am dealing with the rarity of Hot Metal's openness and acceptance.
• Immersion in a more conservative culture has two profound effects on me thus far: 1) It makes me doubt the depth and authenticity of my relationship with God (Especially because I formally used to function within this culture of Veggie Tales and rejection of all things"secular" yet have since college and coming to Hot Metal moved away from these standards) and 2) It makes me want to take the opposite extreme. I want to swear more and dress more revealing. I lament not having sleeves, a mohawk, or more piercings.
• Compounding the spiritual identity crisis was the choice between 2 classes: Field Methods and Second Language Acquisition. The first is for grad credit, more work, more theoretical and analytical, and geared towards academia. The latter, is more practical, required to working in the field with Wycliffe, focused on language learning, and more useful for going into the field. The choice between the two seemed to embody this struggle I've been wrestling with between prioritizing going into the field and prioritizing getting an MA. It's either missionary route or academic route. (I know it's not so black and white, but it feels like it--and that's how it's treated).
• Is my goal to be an academic or a missionary. If both, as many tell me I can be, is it serving two masters? One inevitably will win out, and this decision seemed to be asking which I serve.
• I went to both classes to compare. After 2 days of classes, I've made progress in self-insight. In my phonology of sign languages class, I geeked out. I loved the analytical and theoretical aspects of it. My passion for dissecting a language and debating theory became very apparent in comparison to the other courses. It seems my heart is geared toward the academic study and analysis first. I've chosen Field Methods.
• But the implications of this choice are hard for me. I'm still wired to believe that it's either academia or missions. Moreover, I have this persistent notion, reaffirmed over and over again by my current environment, that living for God and working for His Kingdom means doing full time ministry and mission work. Like everyone I've met so far is here to translate the Bible, suggesting God makes linguists to proliferate His word and doing otherwise is wasting my talent. Honestly, translating the Bible at this point in time isn't my priority, and I wouldn't be surprised that Wycliffe would not even accept me were I to have any desire to join.
• All that being said, I am striving to discover where the cross section of academic pursuit, desire to bring about social justice and meet the needs of people, and bringing about God's Kingdom lies if not Bible-translating with Wycliffe.

Prayer Requests:

• Physical needs: I want a bike! The food situation is I have been basically living off of formerly frozen veggies, formerly canned mandarin oranges and peaches, salad bar (minus dressing, cheese, meat, and eggs), fiber cereal, and fruit. I have like a serving of starches a day and am struggling to find protein. My IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) is acting up more on cafeteria food than when I was in Mexico! Pray I find a bike and can figure out this food situation.
• Identity- pray that I can find my identity in Christ and in Him alone.
  
• Bridge- that things like listening to "secular music", not praying a long and silent grace before meals, having a tattoo, and being passionate more about recycling and waste reduction than Bible translating are not what would define me to my fellow SIL-ers. That I would not move to the opposite extreme and thus isolate myself. This is perhaps my biggest prayer request for the summer: that I may be a bridge. That my alternative yet approachable lifestyle would help expand others' definition of the Kingdom of God and following God. And that there would be a positive influence both ways. (Even if I've encountered one Moody grad!) Pray against me isolating myself by judging others or perceiving that I'm being judged.

This I realize is huge and probably filled with typos. Don't feel pressured to read--but know I will test you upon my arrival and expect you to have memorized it because if you don't I know you don't love me. :)

I already miss you all. I miss people who get me. I miss Hot Metal. I miss being silly and yet being understood. I miss you all almost as much as I miss healthy food and my bicycle. Please send me your emails and texts letting me know about your lives too! I may not respond in a timely manner, but have already appreciated the emails, texts, and phone calls!

With Love and Peace, Jen.